Something has been weighing on my heart lately. Something dangerous and contrary to lost of popular opinions in the news and social-sphere – – –
As a fully capable, intelligent, educated, professional, non-liberal, non-conservative, Jesus-lovin’, gun-owning, American woman: I need men.
Whoa. Radical thought huh?
I need men. I don’t just love men, which I do, I need them.
Haters (H) and Keyboard Social Justice Warriors (KSJW) and Captains of the Online Outrage Squad (COOS): Allow me to first clarify what I’m not saying. I’m not saying that I can’t live or exist with out men in my life (see above about me being capable and intelligent). I’m not saying that I need a man to do any one specific thing for me. I’m not saying that men are better than women. And I’m certainly never going to say that women are better than men.
So with that nonsense out of the way – here’s my point – it’s pretty straight forward.
I need men. Men are necessary. Essential.
Naturally, I need my husband, Mt. Man. That goes without saying. But my need for him is beyond a check list. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs has “love and belonging” after physiological needs and safety – but I know for a fact that my need for Mt. Man goes beyond my physical needs and need to be safe. I would easily give up my comfort and safety for him. It’s bone deep. Not a need for him as it directly relates to me – but I simply need him to exist altogether.
However, needing men goes so far beyond my relationship with my husband. It’s bigger than the two of us.
Here’s why men are necessary for everything:
1- Life cannot exist with out them.
Capital “L” Life: all beings in existence. Just as Life cannot exist without a vagina and all that comes with it, Life cannot exist with out a penis and all that comes with it. Every person who ever existed ever, from Genghis Khan to Mother Theresa were created from a man and a woman. You need both. Life requires men. (H/KSJW/COOS Side Note: If you want to start jabbering about asexual amphibians, please do it elsewhere. We’re talking about people here.)
2- Femininity needs masculinity to exist.
Like darkness needs light, yin needs yang, peanut butter needs chocolate – femininity cannot exist without masculinity. (H/KSJW/COOS Side Note: AND vice versa! Sheesh.) How could femininity or masculinity even be defined or explained without the other? Literally everything in nature has balance – equal but opposite reactions, proton/electron, matter/antimatter. Men are simply the carriers of masculinity. As people interact some fluidity of characteristics occurs. Men can take on feminine characteristics and women can take on masculine characteristics. And, people do tend to have an innate leaning towards one or the other. But the only way that people will have the choice to pick between them is to know that the two difference exist in the first place and you can’t have masculinity without dudes.
3- Male influence in life is completely necessary.
Take me for example: I would not be the person I am without men. O.G., Big-Bro, Mr. Hampton, Dr. Kellogg, good boyfriend A, bad boyfriend A, bad boyfriend B, excellent Mt. Man, my uncles, my cousins, my male friends, my former bosses, my former clients … they have all helped to influence who I am, how I think, how I work and how I engage with the world. And the thing is – I am grateful for all of them.Granted – compared to global standards for how women are treated, I’ve been treated mostly like a freakin’ princes. But even those men who did not treat me well, if not for them I would not have learned and become who I am.
4- A) Male-female relationship dynamics are completely unique.
My relationship with O.G. (my father) is completely different from that with my Mommacita. My relationship with my brother is completely different from that with my sister. My relationship with Mt. Man is unlike any relationship I’ve ever had ever. And of course, my relationship with Jesus is also completely without equal or comparison.
4- B) Male-female relationship are the foundation of all societies.
As wonderful as my relationships are with the women in my life, I can’t build a society on my relationship with my Bestie or with Mommacita. It takes a man and a woman to make Life, and therefore to make the foundation of a family. And the family is the foundation of community, which is the foundation of society. You get the picture. (H/KSJW/COOS Side Note: yes, family can mean many things interracial, adoption, single-parent homes, even just best friends who are all the other person has. No one denies that the the term family becomes fluid as people encounter other people – even in the Bible, King David considered Jonathan his family. I’m not saying only male/female parents does a family make. I’m simply saying that you cannot deny that a male/female couples create families when they become parents. FACT.)
5- Dudes are awesome!
Look – men are freakin’ fantastic. As a heterosexual female, of course I think men are awesome. But certainly not because I’m attracted to them all! I like men because some are funny, some are super smart, some are creative, some are thoughtful, some have taught me more about kindness than any woman has! Some are artists and make the most beautiful things. Some are leaders who inspired generations. Some will do anything for their families. Some will do anything for strangers! Little boys want to help their moms. Men will stop in the middle of the street to help an elderly couple change a flat tire.
For every bad thing that you could sling at men, they have outstandingly positive qualities. If we could focus on the good and give credit where it’s due we could solve so much. (H/KSJW/COOS Side Note: DUH – women do too – we get it!)
Too much these days there is garbage about how men suck and women are so much better than men. It makes me sick. Especially this evil nonsense: a feminist columnist for The Guardian, Julie Bindel, thinks that it’s a dandy idea to have men put in “some kind of camp.” And that women could check them out – like a library book. Men, and heterosexuality should be eradicated, in Bindel’s mind. Here’s the original interview. Here’s where I found out about it.
When I see stuff like the above and…
And stories of little boys are are being medicated for being… ya know… little boys…
When I see this crap, it hurts my heart.
Perhaps I’m too much of an idealist. Perhaps it is too much to ask for people to celebrate what’s good in the world regardless of from whom or where it comes. But for me, I’m not afraid to say men are great. And I need men.
Bestie’s Husband (aka Like-a-Bro)
Other male relatives whose names I’m not going to include but you know who you are
My male coworkers whose names I’m not going to include but you know who you are
The men who serve in our military
Male Preachers, Missionaries, and Theologians
Male soccer players (yes, please!)
Even my male dog, Kratos
I need y’all.